24 April 2022
2 Samuel 7:18-29, David's Prayer. In his joy after the bestowed honor, he praised God for the blessings he has granted.
My sister has noods circulating in the critical eyes of decent public. At first I was extremely agitated that she really wanted to pay. How could she let a stranger have this much power over her? I will not support psychological torture on weak-willed people; extortion by preying on other people's fears.
Nude photos are dime-a-dozen and people are committing sexual acts with their partners or by themselves the world over. But the fuss and intrigue involved in sex, its disclosure and general ambiance, continues to become a paradox. Fornication is universally acknowledged as a natural and vital act to engage in. But in different circumstances, the connotation differs.
The repercussions of releasing private photos of people whose carnal aspects are otherwise not shared publicly is far-reaching. The attacks on a person's image when the perception people have of her virtue is irreparably damaged has consequences. Society's ill-concealed deviances then rears out and splashes on allegorical pools of blood. Because when shared activities that are kept private are taken out of context and outside its intended use without consent, it becomes viewed as perverse and the subconsciously primal nature of society emerges and rejoices maliciously.
I really made another writeup regarding this and mistakenly had it deleted. I no longer have it in me to write the same sentiments, particularly my hypocrisy. It is not worth going through twice. What I am willing to repeat though is how our headspaces affect the perspective by which we view things: how pornography seems to be a drop in the ocean compared to that drop being a lingering echo in a dry bucket if that sexualized content was viewed for the first time by the subject's immediate family who knows but are not exposed to this person's sexual side.
The reading though. There was this undercurrent of emotional upheaval. At first, I was seeing the situation logically until it hit me on a personal level and I can't sleep. But slept nevertheless thinking how commonplace it is to be nude and for prurient activities to happen. Ah, the smoke and shadows we love playing peek-a-boo on sheer curtains with! When I awoke, I got mad and wanted to purge my sister of her perversity and foolishness. If you're horny, be smart about it, not a naive dumbass like sheep for slaughter. She went on with saying how she doesn't want to trouble our parents. Had you thought of that first and held on to it, you wouldn't be mired in a situation where you'll be considered of ill repute and metaphorically covered in a scent that invites indecent proposals and harrassment.
The least I wanted was for her to live in fear. The turn around was great! You are always perfect, aren't You?
My emotions have shifted to directions I did not lead it to and my standards for morality on what is natural and what is perverse in relation to sexuality and its related acts are brackish water at best.
I know I have to be with my sister, in support of her. My present, past and future rally with me before her. But I am filled with judgments against her, rooted in prejudices borne of a bigoted, conservative and most undeniably, hypocritical culture which cannot escape its primal nature. I could be with her but my spite would lash at her and I will inevitably hurt her when she's already downtrodden. I had to take time to fortify myself. And while everything's fluid, I came to You and asked for Your word. What did You give me --- David's prayer.
It deals with David's praise, in gratefulness of the honor bestowed upon him, to have his descendants enthroned forevermore. Until the end, he was describing that the event was a blessing. A blessing. You are saying that this eventful weekend is a blessing?
Immediately, I thought of it as an early warning. If this had not happened, this type of behavior would have persisted. By entrapping it at an early stage, it would not fester.
And so it goes. It is a blessing. Sam will not carry on with her shenanigans. Surely, she has learned her lesson! Sam has seen how much people love her, that their love accepts her though she faltered, that she is given love that transcends judgment. I do hope that their show of support (her inner circle) would not make her feel like her behavior was condoned.
It is my blessing. You have shown through Sam that grace comes from You. Just last night she was shaking and was giving in to the demands of a virtual stranger in response to threats of defamation. She is upholding herself with dignity and embraces that she had sinned and is remorseful. This grace is from You. It will not be sustained by self-righteousness, because she knows she's in the wrong. But she's determined to make it right.
People are blessings. You are my blessing. Without You, everything has no meaning. My thoughts are not absolute but I shouldn't be lost because I am meant to learn along the way, from other people as well, though I have to take it with a grain of salt.
