Vigilance

28 July 2013

Dad rushed to get back to Calapan early Friday morning. He was to meet with ninong and while he was away, my wallet was stolen from me. I went blank again. Amazingly, I did not stress out on this.

After a long time, I felt absolutely on track, my confidence went up yesterday when I was ailing in my prayer, “Then, let me lose all confidence in myself if I would gain faith in You.” I was happy, like I’ve never been for ages. Just when I was at this state of mind, my wallet, the wallet Czelene gave me, the one which contains all my IDs, ATM cards and membership cards had been stolen. And I was like, “I lost it.” What was that, simply shock? It would have been more normal if I cried or if I was predominantly angry because I’ve lost a valuable item but what I have felt is acceptance. There was dismay at my negligence but the predominant feeling was acceptance. If only I was alert enough, it would not have had happened. Then I remembered how I didn’t have any intention at all to go where the wallet was fished out of my bag. It’s as if it was really meant to happen. I’m feeling I’m bumming and being irresponsible again. Help me out of this Lord!