Time surplus

16 February 2022

It's still a vision. An unbroken expanse of sunny blue sky. It strikes differently in a cool car than when I'm catching my breath because my legs have to power pedals.

3:20 pm, SLEX
Maybe it's because of our nomadic tendencies, traveling most of the time for sustenance. Seeing this much sky lulls me into embracing latent awe. Awe for what I could have no control over, but could admire while it keeps me safe.

3:47 pm, beyond Sto. Tomas exit
Something about travelling familiar roads to the tune of songs majority of the public has heard (Adele) seems to reiterate the pathways where my blood flows. It reminds me of who I am——me that's always been there.

3:55 pm exit leading to a SuySing store, Batangas
The view reminds me that the world is vast. Brimming with possibilities. The world is my oyster mentality alights. But I have fellow humans to live the other possibilities in my place.

6:24 pm Starlite Ferries booth queue, Batangas port
I was pissed off. I felt I was being mooched off and tricked. I had to pay 100 for tricycle fees. Accrued expenses for travel are lousy. I can't help but think how much more I can save if I found an alternate route.
I talked myself into enjoying that ride. I won't get to feel the roads as closely as I did if I were on a bus. And the waning afternoon sky was pretty above a bit of the sea surrounded by dark green islands. I like it. Maybe it looked prettier cause I paid for it. How lucky I am that I am not charged for everything I glean beauty from.

8:39 pm Starlite Pacific, tired of seeing the same side of Batangas for 2 hours
The sea breeze sends me chills. It looks like we're not moving at all. But we are. Maybe that's how my progress looks like. I keep bemoaning being in the same place because I still get to see the same markers.

Moonlight on the ocean looks lovely because it sends light reflections back to me from the curve of each individual wave. We're turning to the portside a bit. The winds buffeting my hair cessates, lessening no matter how little. This I totally appreciate.

8:51 pm at a sea somewhere, the faintest lights of Batangas City are almost invisible
Blue Period still affects me strongly.
Valentines Day: Before 6am, I am already in a queue for the commute back to Alabang. The sky is blue that barely makes itself known through the black. And that wall on my far left of the adjacent buiding to the complex looks very imposing in its shadows. I know the building stands straight, a typical man-made wall that's flat and as basic as can be with an even but non-glazed smooth finish. It barely has windows. Whatever windows there are, their tinyness is amplified by the darkness from within. But at that time, the right wall that faces me is quite imposing. More so than the protrusion of landmass I look at now which roughly could support 1000 people and I am being stingy at that. The island before me did not appeal intimidating. That wall that morning was. It filled my field of vision, with barely one inch border on each side to frame the structure. It occupied 80% of my view.
As I came nearer to the pay point, it distorts and appears curved, not as exaggerated as a fisheye lens does but it curves. It is not only imposing then, but sinister too. As if its eyes, if it had any, peers at me atop its nose in condescension; a revolted sneer on its lips. I did not take a picture. I cannot make one either. I wish I could. It denies me. Its denial of me makes me realize I am more real than it is, that I am alive. Its curved reality directs my attention to assert that I am more real than it is.

9:29 pm, still at sea after a phonecall from my mother where I said we haven't passed Verde Island when looking back I thought we just did.
The vessel I am in encountered lots of small fishing boats. First was green and blinking. A string of orange. A flash of red. An assortment of colored blinks from a single bulb. Mom said they would have a poor catch; the moon is bright and out. When all I thought is that the moon is out-it'd recharge my gem bracelet which Sam touched. It's hard to be a fisherman.
And I am claiming again that we are just now traversing parallel to Verde Island. I see both ends of this shadowed mass. The other which I assumed it was stretches to the point where  I fail to detect the end that points to more land.