After lunch with June

7 June 2013

I went to the bank to encash my April paycheck. Upon arrival, it was hard to not notice the smell of chocolate perfume. It’s Axe chocolate. Then Paul tells me I should make a written document of what I have done for the past month. What will I come up with? Have I actually learned anything from the wealth of experience available for me?

Physical exhaustion is easy. With whatever little sleep you get you’ll be okay. But emotional exhaustion? I’ve never been through it before and I find it more than exhausting, even utterly draining. Is there anyway by which I could replenish or recharge myself from this downward spiral?

Woke up today at 4am to stare at the ceiling again. Thinking and thinking; not remembering what I thought. I was staring as the second hand moves round, it’s past eight and I had no inclination at all to move where I was. If not for June’s SMS, I wouldn’t have shown up today. It’s June’s birthday. She deserves all the respect that there actually is.

We’re having a party this night. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I might get bombed and die suddenly. I feel like canned goods past its expiry date – totally useless and worth throwing out with trash. I’m actually writing this out and it’s totally okay with me if everybody reads this. Why?