16 February 2013
Humans remain interesting. No wonder it’s hard to be in the
field of sociology and psychology, people are candidly dynamic or petulantly
stagnant. People make the world wonderfully crazy. Our differences in opinion
make us more fruitful. I say so from my WOW Bulletin experience and the
printouts of its evolved forms. It really is a team output. I did nothing,
simply minding to ask inputs from others and applying those. I told our
research associate that I was the executioner. Morbid isn’t it? Saying that
calls more on the henchman definition than the literal, the one who executes
orders. I remember telling our female research associate, “My head is on the
block for this.” Did I mean it’s the henchman’s turn in the guillotine? That’s
sardonic.
The professional world is complicated. It’s a very different
culture. From the part where I am called Ma’am though they’re older than I am
to the non-smiling aura and the intense attention to emails sent, all of those
make me feel older in a retiree-like manner. (Reminds me again why I correlate
coffee with being old and firmly set in your ways. I want to grow wise not old
so I drink milk instead, fuzzy remembrances included.).
I am into the lax
side, where when communicating, what matters more is the thought being
expressed than the words used, or the rank of the person you communicate with.
I still believe that is still the essence of communication – expression at the
basis of being understood or taken as you meant and doing so for the other
party. It has to be direct, honest and straight-forward. But now, there should
be discipline, from the choice of words to the tone of voice to the mood of the
statement. It’s as if not getting it right would mean the other person would
crumble to pieces when they hear or read it; you should always be the
considerate one. From what context would I be considerate? Are people really
that sensitive or would they really give much thought to what was said in a
supposedly spontaneous conversation?
Some people might deduce from conversation a person’s
character, morals, beliefs. (I’ve been doing that.) But unless you are Sherlock
Holmes, there is not much assurance that generalizations from your observations
would be accurate. So I just let it go. Taking in people in into rigid
stereotypes, as conditioned by society in our minds, is faulty. People are not
depicted only by their words or by their actions. We are denser (in response to
Snow Patrol’s track).
This week stressed to me that knowledge is power. But what
is knowledge if it would be an end to itself? It would only be of importance if
it is applied (I am not hinting blackmail with that. It works but I’m not into
it.). What’s the use if I know how to differentiate mosquitoes through their
wing veins? Einstein is still right, imagination is greater than knowledge. It
helps me see through the day which otherwise I would’ve sulked about, home
becomes a thought away. There I would again ride my bike in circles every
evening, jog several rounds every twilight, overcome my aversion to pets
because of Fluffy and receive assurance, love and honesty emitted by my
innocent Shiela. That would be a plus for my EQ, surmounting the panic of IQ. Through
it I am thrilled with seeing moss covered bark against a gray cloudy sky, and
assuming age-old branches forebode cycles of gloom. Imagination enables me to
smile and be vivid with what I get to see, wanting to absorb all as if we were
one and the same. Aren’t we all made of the same units light, clouds, roaches,
frogs and sand are made of?
The presence of my batch mates within the compound is my
solace. Oh no! Aids will be in Cebu from Monday until Wednesday. I will
definitely miss him. Since Aids’ room is in the first floor, it was always to
him that I run to whenever I had to get out of the office – for a chat or for a
free mefenamic pill. In one of these
visits, I saw Aaron again and Paul was right, Aaron meant I wasn’t doing
anything. Well is it my fault that I do not let the pressure get to my head?
That does not mean I am not heeding my tasks or my devotion is less than
anybody’s.
Micai said that her agitated day was made well by the egg
sandwich I delivered. Aids was thankful as well. I was expecting they’d be
laughing at me. Maybe that’s how it is with my immediate support group – ate
Ching, Aids, Micai, Camelle and Abi – it’s the thought that counts. I miss
Czelene and Selina. When I’m with them as well it’s the essence of things that
matter, not the packaging as Dr. Destura promoted. When both agree that it’s the
thought that counts more, I get to sense that a conversation’s genuine. There
are no pretenses, chances of falsehood, role playing, mental manipulation or
composition of mental dummies you really are not or have no reason to stress
out before the other person. But the world doesn’t work that way. In the
business sense of things, words matter, imaging takes center stage. A person is
presented as a package, the 21st century version of sculpting busts
for pedestals – perfect but lifeless, a solid creative lie, or in philosophy, a
straw man everyone can punch at and the original of the replica can abdicate. I
prefer to remain imperfect, my own brand of imperfect, and let others see it
because that’s what makes me real.
I will not run out of things to learn and it’s something I
look forward to each day. The group function is my friend and I’ve made my
first 2D child using shapes in ppt. It only looks more like a duck. I’ve been
aware of the GIS basics, the raster, polygon maps. And I’ve been familiar with
different acronyms: LAMP, PCARI, GAHI, UCB, and UCSF. These are terms that they
use that I couldn’t leave out. I was taught how to set-up Cedie with the
projector (Fn+F4), how to switch windows (Alt+Tab), the thesaurus shortcut
(Shift+F7) and how to lock aspect ratio of images. I’ve been briefed on the
rule of picture placing for newspapers. Our female research associate also
taught me a new way of folding paper. (I know Ling will put into use the
origami guide so I wouldn’t miss it.) And, I can already use the printer by
myself (with lots of glitches though. I executed the print command once and
then 2 copies came out. I’m sure I’ve only printed a single copy. What a
waste!).
There is this notion of being prepared - I did not
understand that I should do something unless I was told directly what I should
do. They sometimes assume that I know already and I understand it differently.
My guts, go to work! Come on, don’t let me down. In these instances I rely on
you since words are futile. But I would want to clarify again that words are
not entirely useless. They fail at times, if not properly propelled. Take for
instance my dear NVM Gonzales. He has elucidated real life perfectly in his
writings, as if he’s what Vertical Horizon was talking about, He says all the right things at exactly the
right time. There is no question why he became an acclaimed writer though
he did not graduate from college. I am delighted to belong to a nation that
proclaimed him as its national artist. I have another reason to own up my heritage.
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